Celebrate your brave

I want to celebrate YOU! Even more specifically, I want to CELEBRATE YOUR BRAVE. Tell me about a time that you came up against something where you had the courage to be brave. When you reflect upon that time, what are you proud of yourself for?
And, if you’re brave enough, attach a photo of yourself in this post or on the Coach Michaella page. At some point during my #40DaysOfGiving I might even surprise someone for their bravery. When I move into my #40DaysofCelebration I want to do something with these pics, these stories. Something special to celebrate all of your BRAVE!
What's your brave
So, whaddya say? I wanna see you be brave! Will you?

#day30

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Power is gained by sharing knowledge, not by hoarding it

#Day31 of #40DaysofGiving came from a friend telling me about a way that I give that I do without appreciation. Resources. She was telling me about something and I was reminded of a book that she might find useful. Truthfully, I had no attachment to whether or not she read it, didn’t feel like I was saying, “look how smart I is cause I reads the books” and had no gain to giving her the recommendation. And yet, upon reflection I do it all the time. And people LOVE IT! So, what have I noticed and what are ways we can all give without it costing us anything?sharing knowledge
– A book recommendation. This can be a “hey, you might like this book” or goodreads ratings (you can check my bookshelf out here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/5763034?shelf=%23ALL%23) or even a review after your book purchase on amazon, chapters, etc.
– An online purchase review. So often before purchasing something on sephora, I check out the reviews. They can be incredibly helpful
– Sharing your failures. If someone is walking a path that you have already walked, share your path, your journeys. There might be things you now know you would do differently. They will walk their own path, take their own journey, but you might just make it a little easier.
– Share your favourite things. I am in the process of rebuilding www.coachmichaella.com and one of the things I have added is links to my fav things – from pedi’s to movies.
– Teach. When I was working in corporate, one of the ways I always climbed up the corporate ladder so quickly was to teach the person under me to do my job. If they grew, I grew. If that meant I needed to grow in a new organization, then that would be the next step. Everyone grows and learns.

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In an instant

Once again I was witness to something coming together in an instant. Sometimes we can plan and plan and plan and organize and yet everything can change with just one conversation or one idea or one insight. I have been trying to plan my 40th birthday for sometime now. Couldn’t really figure out what I wanted to do specifically. Tried all sorts of ways of seeing what would feel good and nothing was really coming up. One small concepts within one small conversation sparked something and the entire birthday party was planned in an afternoon.

What if we all gave ourselves possibility? Possibility that everything could come together at any moment.  In a Moment
What ways could this actualize in our lives?
– Creativity is everywhere. Let creativity come in strange places. While you are falling asleep, out in nature on a simple walk, while on the treadmill, in the shower. Trying to solve something? Stop thinking about solving it and may be the solution will just come.
– Money can literally land on your doorstep tomorrow. This is not an excuse to move away from earning it, but it’s possible that you can just get unexpected money land it your lap.
– Fallen off the wagon a million times? Try to quit smoking, tried to lose weight, tried to stick to an exercise routine, tried to organize your household, tried to start being on time for once. Even if you have tried a thousand times before, this next time could be the time that it sticks.
– Even just one insight into how you are doing something or why you are doing it could be the simple shift you need to do something differently forever.

#Day32 #40DaysofGiving

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Little paws, big love!

What do you think about when you hear the word give? I noticed that I was thinking of it in the same way often so I thought I would look it up…

•provide someone with something
•make someone owner of something
•put medicine in someone
•cause effect/experience
communicate
•perform action
•allow someone to do something
•pass illness to someone else
•pay money
•stretch/bend/break etc
•change decision
•use all time/energy

Today in my day at home I really silent (and sometimes with weirPetsd noises and voices) focused on giving attention to my fur babies. We have had Joey (the cat) since our daughter was a baby and when we brought Dexter (the chocolate lab) in our home, it really transformed our house into a home. Animals bring us so much love and adoration so just to really give back and love up on them. Sometimes it really is the simple things. Love from the ones who love us and giving it right back to them.

#day33 #40DayofGiving

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Self Care? Or is it Self Respect?

As a coach, there are days that we give and give and give. What I wanted to focus on today is not the giving I did in my business but more importantly the giving I gave to myself. After a day of back-to-back calls I must admit I no longer wanted to talk to anyone or listen to anyone. My poor husband gets home and all he wants to do is talk to someone. So I listened for a while and give him the listening ear that he deserves after a long day and then I tell him that I need some quiet. I would love for him to be with me, but he just can’t talk. He agrees, sits down and after a few seconds starts to talk again. I let him talk for a minute and then remind him about how important this quiet is to me right now. Lather, rinse, repeat. He starts talking again. I give him an exhausted laugh and jovially say, “baby, can you please stop talking?!?!” This time he hears me. I knew I didn’t need much but I did need the self care of having some down time and giving myself an opportunity to just be in quiet. A small little act of self-care gave me the rejuvenation I was looking for.
Self Care
I know the word self-care gets thrown around a lot these days, but where does self-care need to be looked at in our lives today?
* Ladies, when you need to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom! I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to about this need we have to do one more thing before we go pee. I have often heard myself saying, “this job is going to give me a bladder infection.” It’s not the job, it’s me.
* The fine art of balancing a schedule. We need to appreciate time for what it is. So often we cram our schedules and think we can do more than time really allows. Self-care means not rushing around and evoking anxiety about where you need to be.
* Rest. Every kind of rest you require. Resting your brain. Resting your body. Resting your spirit. A break from electronics. Time in nature. Rejuvenation. And of course, sleep ~ beautiful, peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.
* Making choices without guilt. These choices include: what you eat, how you spend your time, what you say no to, what you didn’t do for someone, how you are feeling, what you have chosen to uncommitted yourself to. When will you be in conscious choice about our decisions we get to do so without having guilt. Want to have that massive piece of chocolate cake? Eat it, eat all of it. Enjoy every little last bite and know that you did so in conscious choice. Don’t really want to go to your friends birthday party? Don’t. Do something for them that makes you feel good if you want to do something for them but don’t go to something that you don’t want to go to just because you feel guilty not going. Get back into conscious choice.

#40DaysofGiving #Day34

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Speak your truth

I definitely didn’t know that this was going to be the thing that I focused on for my #40DaysofGiving when I got up today. I was called to go to an emergency executive meeting for the nonprofit board that I’m on last night. In the last fewweeks I have been sensing that it might be time for me to move on from the board and potentially the organization, but I hadn’t really flushed all of it out but this meeting brought it to the surface. Talking to my husband about it before going I had decided that I would keep it to myself and not concerned the rest of the board with how I was feeling. Things would come out as they were meant to when the timing was right.

As we are going through the nuances of the meeting it occurs to me that there’s an elephant in the room. How I am feeling is about more than just me. I realized in that moment that while it would be hard for me to share my thoughts it was what was best for the organization and the board. Now I’m not someone that typically holds back and yet I could feel that I needed to be vulnerable and share my whole truth and for some reason this felt kind of scary.
Speak your truth
It was as if speaking it into the room took the weight off of all of our shoulders. We all have had so much going on in our lives in the past year and this just put it out in the open, freeing ourselves up for possibility, creativity, and understanding for everybody’s situations. The outcomes might vary but at the end of the day we were all better off having a conversation about the bigger picture than having a conversation about the small details.

Where else does the truth need to be spoken?
– In doctors offices and in the hospitals. Too often we keep quiet when we are in the presence of people who we deem more superior. Your health and well-being should be a collaboration and you should always speak your truth about what’s going on for you physically and emotionally.
– In restaurants. If you want your food to be done a certain way, have things added or removed or substituted, tell them. It’s for them to decide whether or not they want to honor that request and it’s for you to decide whether or not you want to eat what they are putting in front of you. You also have full permission to get up and choose another restaurant and pay for food that would better serve your needs.
– “No” is a full sentence. Learn it, use it, don’t explain yourself.
– Teaching our children to speak their truth in their education is an important lesson to teach. Modeling for them to speak their voice in their learning is a lifelong lesson. My daughter was recently assigned a novel to read that she deemed to be inappropriate (at grade 8 she didn’t want to read about the c-word – fair enough). When she went to her teacher and explained how it made her feel I was incredibly proud of her for speaking her truth. Could she have read the book? Of course. But speaking her truth about not wanting to was a far more valuable lesson.

Yeah #day35. Toughie, but a goodie!

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Let it go…let it go…

#Day36 and I will be falling into bed shortly. Today I gave the gift of letting go. My daughter really wanted to make dinner (Junior MasterChef inspired) by herself. I had already pulled out everything to make dinner and wanted something nutritious, fresh and easy. Trust me, I love me daughter, but she is no MasterChef. But I let go and appreciated what she was doing both for herself and for our family. Dinner, was, well…interesting. There was some healthy components and fresh was there in bits and pieces. But truly, letting her have it all for her was a gift to all of us. For today and for the young woman who is growing up before our eyes.
Let it go
Where else can I learn to let go more often?
~ With my extended family, they are who they are. Stop complaining about it already.
~ With having everything figured out. Being overly organized is not always a good thing.
~ Traffic. I mean, hello, who do I think I am. I can’t move mountains or semi trucks out of my way.
~ With controlling the outcome of things. I mean, hey, no matter where we go on vacation, it’ll be good.
~ With email. Some unread, unresponded to emails are going to have to be just fine. (I feel lots of resistance in this one!)

#40DayofGiving and so much learning inside of it!

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Mother may I?

Ask for what you needToday for my #40DaysofGiving I focused on giving the opportunity for people to ask for what they need. This is a skill that I personally have struggled with over the years. Especially being a giver. Give, give, give. Never asking for what I needed. Asking seemed weak or needy. Learning this skill I quickly realized it’s powerful, not weak. When you ask for what you need, you not only get your needs met, but you also give someone else the opportunity to succeed at supporting you.

I’ll admit there was the “do-er” in me that wanted to just jump up and see how I could help, but that would only serve in the short term. I know that they are more than capable of finding the solution and executing it. I also know that they know that if they need help and ask me for it, that I will help and support them in however I can that supports them and me along the way.

This skill go far deeper than any task too. Asking for what you need in your relationships is a game changer. If you know about “love languages”, you’ll get a kick out of this one. I have a friend who’s love language is gifts. Her husband keeps ‘screwing up’ in this area and when I asked her if she asked for what she needed around this she replied, “no, he should know. If I have to ask then it has no meaning.” Well I get what she was saying (btw – I’ve heard this from more than one person, so I’ve seen it often), but come on! EVEN SANTA GETS A LIST SENT TO HIM!

Here are some ways you can deepen the skill of asking for what you need:
~ Make a list of things you want for your birthday and then release all expectations. Oh, and you have to GIVE THEM the list.
~ When you notice that you keep getting triggered by the same thing, look at what a solution might be and then talk to the person and see if you can find a solution. Both my ex-husband (and his wife) and I (and my husband) are triggered by our daughter who we co-parent leaving her socks all over the house. After picking up her socks a trillion times (okay, an exaggeration, but it felt that way), we had a bigger conversation about it. Turns out she finds that she learns better when she has bare feet. This is truly odd to me, but who I am to question how she learns!?!!?!? So what we did this time was tell her how frustrated we feel picking up her lonely socks that seem to get taken off and left for the sock fairy to deal with. We simply asked that when she takes them off, that she picks up after herself. Asked for what we needed and so far, it has improved dramatically.
~ When you are at your wits end and want help with something, simply ask. “Can you please help me with my computer? I have tried a bunch of stuff, but I still can’t connect it to the wifi.”
~ When your emotional needs aren’t getting met. Often we see this show up as sadness, resentment, hurt feelings and jealousy. Upon reflection, it might just be that you want more quality time. If this is the case, say to someone, “I miss you. I know that we are both busy, but could we find some a date to spend some time together. Could go for dinner or there’s this new book store I’d really like to check out.” When you’re out enjoying this time, tell them how it makes you feel to be able to have that time together. They probably feel the very same way and are thankful that you took the initiative to make this happen for both of you.

Thank you #Day37 for this reflection, it has gotten me thinking of where else I might have fallen off the “asking for what I need” train.

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Give the gift of a memory

Cypress Jan 2015#day38 of #40DaysofGiving is a fun one! Our family has had a busy Christmas break and the last week of school our daughter had a concussion and had to stay home. Lots of missed fun times with her friends ~ especially important for a 13 year old girl! So despite both of us having sinus colds and a bunch of things that we could/should do around the house, we packed up the car and took our daughter and three of her friends up to Cypress Mountain for a day of snow tubing. The gift of time together, creating memories and having fun is one that I take pretty seriously. I love giving experiences and this one feels pretty amazing for everyone!

The gift of giving experiences is such a win/win. And even when you give someone an experience that you don’t get to enjoy with them, they get something that can be incredibly meaningful. More often than not, we share stories about doings, not about things. It can create memories that can last a lifetime.

What kind of experiences do you like to give? How about receive?

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40days - conversationsHello ladies! I will be starting #40daysofGiving to celebrate my 40th birthday in February and one of the things I am doing is GIFTING 40 powerful conversation sessions. If you are a “let’s get it done” kinda woman who has some super big and specific goals or desires for 2015, you might just be who I am looking to give one of these to. I am committed to giving these to women who are on the edge, ready to jump, to take action and get results.

I am working with my coach on some pretty killer stuff. Broke through some big obstacles in the last year and this coming year is going to be EPIC! (PS I love epic!). She is pushing me to give value and be of service in bigger ways that I have ever done before. And I’m up for the challenge.

If you are interested in one of these, there are some available at http://ow.ly/GCqYd

Congratulations on making the time investment in yourself! I can’t wait to connect!!
xo
Michaella

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